DBZ shortened into 10 minutes or so.

Hector

High Class Warrior
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(On Roshi's island.)
GOKU: Hey, guys, what'd I miss?
KRILLIN: Dunno. Nobody watches pre-Z Dragon Ball.
RADITZ: I'm a Saiyan, you're a Saiyan. Gimme your son.
GOKU: No.
(Raditz punches Goku, takes Gohan, and flies away.)
GOKU: No, my son!
PICCOLO: I'm here to help you take back your son. (Fires the Special Beam Cannon and penetrates Raditz and Goku.)
RADITZ (dying): Jokes on you. Two more will be here in a year.
GOKU: Then I guess I'll die and go train with King Kai.
(Training montage with all the Z-Fighters.)
VEGETA: We're here, bitches.
(Yamcha is killed, Chaozu explodes, Tenshinhan suicides, Piccolo saves Gohan.)
NAPPA: Yaay, I'm killing them all. Best day ev--
(Goku punches him unconscious.)
GOKU: Leave this planet.
VEGETA (kills Nappa): How about no?
GOKU: Leave... this... planet!
VEGETA: How about no? (Starts fighting Goku.)
GOKU (goes Kaioken 3x): Leave this PLANET! (Pummels Vegeta.)
VEGETA: How about FUCK YOU?
(Gallick Gun/Kamehameha clash.)
VEGETA (almost dead): Fine, I'm leaving. I'm going to become immortal or something.
GOKU (in hospital): I'm brain-damaged.
KRILLIN, GOHAN, and CHICHI: We know.
(Their spaceship takes off. They arrive on Namek.)
KRILLIN: Hey, we're here for the Dragon Balls.
VEGETA: So am I.
FREEZA: So am I.
GOKU: So am I. Also, (transforming) I'm a super sandwitch!
(Freeza is cut in half.)
CHAOZU (surrounded by Yamcha, Tenshinhan, and Piccolo): Yaay, we're alive again.
VEGETA: By the way, do you have a problem if I stay on Earth and bang Bulma?
YAMCHA: What? After all you've done, you have the nerve to ask-- (Freeza's spaceship falls on him. Mecha Freeza and King Cold come out.)
FREEZA: JK, not dead, lol.
(Trunks appears with a battle cry, cuts Freeza in half, and kills Cold.)
TRUNKS: I'm from the future. Androids alert. Bye. (Leaves with his time machine.)
PICCOLO: Let's go train.
GOKU: With cars!
(Training montage, including scenes of Goku/Piccolo driving.)
DR GERO (with Nineteen next to him): Hello. We are two androids.
SEVENTEEN (punching through Gero's chest): Hello. We are three androids.
SIXTEEN: Hello.
EIGHTEEN: ... (kisses Krillin)
PICCOLO (fuses with Kami): Then I'm three Namekians.
CELL: And I'm nine guys. (Absorbs Seventeen and transforms.) Now I'm ten guys. (Absorbs Eighteen and transforms.) And now I'm eleven gu--
GOHAN: HAAA! (Transforms into a Super Saiyan 2 and kills Cell.)
MR SATAN (to reporters): I killed Cell.
GOHAN (adult): You took my credits, I'll bang your daughter.
MR SATAN: Wait a minute, when did you grow u--
BABIDI: Hey, guys. I'm here to rule the world.
DABURA: With me by his sid--
(A candy ray transforms him into a cookie. Buu eats him.)
FAT BUU: Buu still hungry.
BABIDI: Eat Vegeta.
(Vegeta crumbles into dust.)
FAT BUU: Buu still hungry.
BABIDI: Eat the--
(Buu kills him.)
FAT BUU: Buu still hungry.
TRUNKS and GOTEN: Eat your ass.
FAT BUU: Okay. (Splits into Good Buu and Gray Buu. Gray Buu eats Good Buu and transforms.)
SUPER BUU: I'm two guys now.
GOTENKS: So are we.
SUPER BUU: Not anymore.
TRUNKS and GOTEN: Whoops.
GOHAN: Don't worry. I'm here. (Pummels Buu.)
GOTENKS: We're two guys again.
(Buu absorbs Gotenks and Piccolo.)
BUUTENKS: I'm five guys now.
GOKU: Gohan, become two guys with me.
BUUTENKS: Dibs! (Absorbs Gohan.)
BUUHAN: I'm six guys now.
VEGETTO: Wanna become eights guys with us?
BUUHAN: Sure, why not? (Absorbs Vegetto. Right after, he transforms into Kid Buu.)
KID BUU: Afu? (Subtitles: The fuck?)
GOKU: I command you to be reincarnated as a black guy.
KID BUU: Ay. (Subtitles: Okay.)
(Dragon Soul song plays.)
 

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